Beer Warning ...

For some this WARNING comes too late, others we hope in time: Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties, and local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman.

Many females use a date rape drug on the market called "Beer".

The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, or from taps and in large "kegs". Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them. A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply ask him home for no strings attached sex. !

Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several beers, men will often succumb to the desires to sleep with horrific looking women whom they would never normally be attracted.

After drinking beer, men often awaken with only hazy memoriesof exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that "something bad" occurred.

At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings, in a familiar scam known as "a relationship".

In extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer term form of servitude and punishment referred to as "marriage. " Men are much more susceptible to this scam after beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.

Please! Forward this warning to every male you know.

If you fall victim to this "Beer" scam and the women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter with similarly victimized men. For the support group nearest you, just look up Golf Courses" in the phone book.

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Sixth grade

Little Johnny was sitting on his backyard swing set with some of his sixth grade schoolmates one Saturday when they started to tell some jokes to each other.

Little Susie started off by saying, "Knock, knock?"

Everyone answered, "Who's there?"

Susie says, "Boo!"

Everyone replied, "Boo who?"

To which Susie said, "Why are you all crying?" and every- one broke out laughing.

At this point, Little Johnny got up and started into his joke, "Hey, did you all hear about the prostitute who got fingered by Captain Hook?"

Immediately, Johnny's mother, who was nearby watering the roses and had heard Johnny start off, came rushing over and shouted, "Alright Johnny! That's enough! In fact, all of you kids can go home now. Leave, please."

The following Saturday, Johnny again invited his friends over, this time to play some video games. During a lull in the action, Johnny said to everyone, "You know, there's a rumor going around that a busload of prostitutes will be leaving in the morning for that big gold find up in Alaska, and they say..."

This time again, Johnny's mother was in the kitchen and came stomping in after having heard him. She said demand- ingly as she gathered his friends together and shuffled them towards the door, "Okay kids, it's getting late. All of you will have to leave now."

Little Johnny was puzzled and yelled back at them, "Hey! Hold on, hold on! There's still plenty of time 'cause the bus doesn't leave till morning!"
~~~~~~~~~~~
An Italian family is at the dinner table when the father says to his oldest son, "Tony! Why you-a such a fat-a fuck?"

Tony says, "Poppa, it's-a Mama's spaghetti! I can't-a stop-a eating it."

Poppa says, "You should-a take-a smaller bites!"

Then Poppa says to his middle son, "Michael! Why you-a such a fat-a fuck?"

Michael says, "Poppa, it's-a Mama's lasagna. I can't-a stop-a eating it, it's-a so good."

Poppa says, "You should-a also take-a smaller bites."

Then Poppa says to his youngest son, "Fredo! How you-a stay so slim-a and-a trim-a."

Fredo says, "It's-a so easy, Poppa. I eat-a lots and lots of-a pussy."

Poppa says, "Pussy? Pussy, that's-a taste like shit!"

Fredo says, "Poppa, You should-a take-a smaller bites!"

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A mother took her five-year-old son with her to the bank on a busy lunchtime. They got behind a very fat woman wearing a business suit complete with pager. As they waited patiently, the little boy said loudly, "Gee, she's fat!"

The mother bent down and whispered in the little boy's ear to be quiet.

A couple of minutes passed by and the little boy spread his hands as far as they would go and announced, "I'll bet her butt is this wide!"

The fat woman turns around and glares at the little boy. The mother gave him a good telling off, and told him to be quiet. After a brief lull, the large woman reached the front of the line.

Just then, her pager began to emit a beep, beep, beep.

The little boy yells out, "Run for your life, she's backing up!!"

~~~~~~~~~~~

Two eighty-year-old men, Moe and Sam, have been friends all their lives. It seems that Sam is dying, and Moe comes to visit him every day.

"Sam," says Moe, "You know how we have both loved stickball all our lives, and how we played minor league ball together for so many years.

Sam, you have to do me one favor. When you get to Heaven, and I know you will go to Heaven, somehow you've got to let me know if there's stickball in Heaven."

Sam looks up at Moe from his death bed, and says,

"Moe, you've been my best friend many years. This favor, if it is at all possible, I'll do for you." And shortly after that, Sam passes on.

It is midnight a couple of nights later. Moe is sound asleep when he is awakened by a blinding flash of white light and a voice that calls out to him, "Moe... Moe...."

"Who is it?" says Moe sitting up suddenly. "Who is it?"

"Moe, it's me, Sam." "Come on. You're not Sam. Sam just died."

"I'm telling you," insists the voice. "It's me, Sam!"

"Sam? Is that you? Where are you?"

"I'm in heaven," says Sam, "and I've got to tell you, I've got really good news and just a little bad news."

"So, tell me the good news first," says Moe.

"The good news," says Sam "is that there is stickball in heaven. And all our old buddies who've gone before us are there.

Better yet, we're all young men again.

And it's always spring time and it never rains or snows. But best of all, we can play stickball all we want, Really?" says Moe, "That is fantastic, wonderful beyond my wildest dreams!

But, what's the bad news?"

"You're pitching next Tuesday!"

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